Tears and Laughterhttp://www.annasplace.me.uk/journal.phpMy Transition and Life Journalen-usChange we (are not allowed to) seehttp://www.annasplace.me.uk/journal.php?archive=2010_01_01_archive.xml#1859445456412677761#1859445456412677761

This is just classic. Some bright spark at Labour HQ thought it would be a good idea to start a Flickr group for photos recording Labour's achievements since 1997. Unfortunately they didn't anticipate that photographers would instead post scans of the "Stop and Search" cards they'd been given by the police when stopped for (you guessed it) taking photographs.

Oops. They've now thrown their toys out of the pram, locked discussions on the group and are busy deleting images which don't suit their message:


Of course, the response of the photographers has been to start their own group, entitled Change we are not allowed to see and upload the banned images there instead. If it goes viral (as these things often do) that's one big backfire by the politicos.

Epic fail, guys. Really. I mean, WTF were you thinking? (and just as few days after the photographers protest in Trafalgar Square over misuse of stop and search powers, which just beggars belief)

Of course, this could easily be just about any political party rather than just Labour. I doubt many politicos fully appreciate what social media have really done for mass communications, after all.

Labour: Change we see but you can't photograph (Telegraph article)
Change we see (the Labour one)
Change we are not allowed to see (photograpers bite back)

Fun, this technology stuff, isn't it?
Self Explanatoryhttp://www.annasplace.me.uk/journal.php?archive=2010_01_01_archive.xml#3290079348283154845#3290079348283154845
 2009: Ups, Downs, Potholes and Fog...http://www.annasplace.me.uk/journal.php?archive=2009_12_01_archive.xml#4841924086370077374#4841924086370077374

When I took the picture above on Boxing Day (it's taken from the summit of Titterstone Clee in Shropshire, by the way) it occured to me that it rather symbolised the year we've just been through - a a maze of ups, downs, potholes and political fog, mixed in with a smattering of industrial devastation. At least, that's what it's felt like watching the news reports throughout the year. Pretty depressing all round!

From a personal perspective this is also the year when I've finally given up on my birth family. Fortunately, I now have a new family, and one which doesn't have the hang-ups and embitterment my old one seems to dwell in. Oh well - it's their loss really.

Whatever the coming year brings you, I hope it's better than the last.


P.S. I'm conscious that I've not written a thing in this blog for many months. In part that's because I'm a little unsure what to use it for now...the trans stuff is part of my past now, not my present (although it can occasionally raise interesting issues those aren't my real focus anymore). Hence I've taken a sabbatical and concentrated on writing elseware (dev forums, twitter etc.).

I have in mind to retheme and refocus the site, and when I do I may start writing here more regularly again. Who knows?
 Heartwarming Blog Post from a parenthttp://www.annasplace.me.uk/journal.php?archive=2009_04_01_archive.xml#6599828373797738969#6599828373797738969
It is an unfortunate fact that far too many transpeople have bad experiences with their families when the come out. Faced with that reality it is heartwarming to hear from a parent who has been strong enough to support her daughter through transition:

People just do not understand:

My daughter was born a male, but right from the word go I had a feeling she was in the wrong body and I didnt know enough about transition then to help her. Many years my daughter suffered, feeling she could not talk to people about it. So one day i sat her down, and asked her what we are going to do about it. I tried to get her help, but she was too scared. I was a bit mean to her, because i was fed up with her being upset. I said to her "we will have to do something to help you along". So I tried to get her to a psychiatrist to help her, but she didnt feel she could talk to him.

Many years went past i kept trying for her, and she managed to talk to a transwoman on a chat site. Between the two of us things have changed, but there was so much bias out there it is hard sometimes. People need to realise that it is not a choice for a transsexual to transition (This includes doctors and professionals). They do not live with the person, they do not know the person how can they judge. I know this person and this person is a female, and I want people to realise this.


Unfortunately, the experience of many transpeople I know (and as a moderator of a large trans-support group in the UK I know a lot!) is that the "people who do not understand" are often their own families rather than colleagues, friends and neighbours. Society is changing, and the stigma some parents imagine having a transsexual child will being is - for the most part - in their own mind rather than a reality. As a result, far too many transpeople are estranged from their parents.

Go in peace this Easter, and do not lose heart.
Help me know you are nearhttp://www.annasplace.me.uk/journal.php?archive=2009_03_01_archive.xml#8991316923255106237#8991316923255106237
Draw me close to you
Never let me know
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I'm your friend.

You are my desire
No one else will do.
'Cause nothing else could take your place,
To feel the warmth of your embrace.

Help me find the way,
Bring me back to You.

 Pride London - We trusted you, but you've let us downhttp://www.annasplace.me.uk/journal.php?archive=2008_07_01_archive.xml#586828315198969684#586828315198969684
Despite the progress that has been made over the past few years in the rights of LGBT people in the UK, there have been regular signs that the rights of trans people have been lagging behind. First there was the refusal of the Government to grant trans people legal recognition - until they were forced to by the European Court of Human Rights. Then there is the requirement that married couples where one partner transitions have their marriage anulled before the transitioning partner would be granted a gender recognition certificate (a compromise originally aimed to get the Gender Recognition Act through the House of Lords, but which our supposedly pro-equality Government has repeatedly refused to review). More recently, the Government has failed to include protection for trans people in the Equality Act (despite assuring us that we wouldn't be forgotten - a piece of duplicity that has not gone unnoticed). On a wider scale, the homophobia exhibited by Home Office officals towards LGBT asylum seekers from countries such as Uganda and Iran is all too well known.

Given such a record, we expect governments to let us down repeatedly (they've been doing so for years, after all). However, we expect better from organisations which perport to promote diversity and equality. Which brings us to Pride London 2008...

Now, imagine the shock among trans people when we read the following (from http://www.transatpride.org/TransAtPride/Transphobia.html) this afternoon:

    "The Pride march and rally are now over for 2008. A lot of fun was had by many, but unfortunately transphobia reared its ugly head at the Pride rally in Trafalgar Square. At about 6:30 in the evening, Roz Kaveney, long time human rights campaigner, journalist and transsexual woman, needed to answer that most basic call of nature and use the loo. What happened next is the sort of thing one is used to reading about in reports of sexual discrimination cases against transpeople. In Roz's own words:

    "Official stewards who were running the toilets at Trafalgar Square announced that I, and any other transgender or transsexual woman, had to use the disabled toilets and was not allowed to use the regular women's toilets. I pointed out to the stewards that I transitioned and had surgery before they were born; I was more polite than a polite thing. No dice.

    I went and fetched a posse of transwomen and transmen and we made a collective fuss. Their response - and remember these were official stewards AT PRIDE - was to radio in "we're being attacked by a mob of trannies! send backup". They were joined by a policeman, who was a LGBT liaison officer, who claimed that we had to be able to show our Gender Recognition Certificates if we wanted to use the women's loos and got quite upset when I explained to him that I had been involved in drafting the Act and that it did not take away rights that existed before it. At one point he threatened to arrest us for demonstrating on private property - those loos belong to Westminster Council, so you are not allowed to make a fuss there.

    At one point it was claimed that they had instituted this policy a few minutes earlier because a man had attacked a woman; at another they said it was official Health and Safety policy. I don't think it was particularly to do with how much I do or don't pass - I think I got read in part because I am so tall and turned up in the queue among a particularly short group of lesbians.

    It was one of the most wretched experiences I have had in thirty years, only made positive by the love and solidarity of my community - including various transmen who proposed that, since they had no GRCs, they should be made to use the women's loos. Beards and all.
I am quite frankly stunned that such an incident could happen at a Pride event. Those officials involved in this incident showed a disturbing lack of sensitivity and judgement. They need to be educated, and we need to be assured by the Pride organisers that this will NEVER happen again. At the very minimum, a personal apology from the organisers and officals concerned is in order.

Pride - it is time for you to show us the same support we've regularly given non-trans GLB people. Rest assured that the trans community are watching to see whether you can rise to the challenge.

Incidentally Dru Marland has also blogged about this in Pride that comes before a fall. A petition to the Pride organisers, Westminster Council and the Metropolitan Police has also been posted at http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/DiscriminationatPride/. Please consider signing it.

Update (11pm): There is now a growing volume of comment on this subject on various forums I've seen. I've also now heard back from the Gender Trust (I cross posted this to several groups, as well as organisations who have an interest) and they say they will be persuing this directly with the authorities. It will be interesting to see what Stonewall, the Mayor of London's office and the Pink Paper have to say on the subject...

Some more links (I'll add them as Google indexes them):


 "Only an expert can deal with the problem"http://www.annasplace.me.uk/journal.php?archive=2008_05_01_archive.xml#4702913297732494#4702913297732494
Back in January Beth bought tickets for a Laurie Anderson concert at the Barbican (part of the "Homeland" tour). I'd not come across her before, but what little I've heard through Beth is quirky and interesting.

This sort of performance art is a new experience for me, but I enjoyed it immensely. Highly recommended.

I've not been to the Barbican before, so the size of the venue came as a bit of a surprise, and (interestingly) there were an awful lot of LGBT people in the audience. It was rather fun being (almost) in the majority for once.

I have to admit that it was rather surreal being amongst the masses in London at night, compared with our rather more tranquil existence in Bournemouth, though. It was great fun mingling with the nighttime crowds around the South Bank after the concert though.

Incidentally, the title of this post refers to what I felt was the most striking of the pieces played this evening. There's a clip of it on YouTube if you want to get a feel for the performance.

The next time we're up in London is for the Flugtag, so that's about as big a contrast to this event as you could ask for, really...
We're going to the FlugTaghttp://www.annasplace.me.uk/journal.php?archive=2008_04_01_archive.xml#5536610871625580785#5536610871625580785
Five years ago I (entirely by accident) stumbled onto TV coverage of the Red Bull Flugtag in Hyde Park. If you don't know of the event it's a kind of "Wacky Races meets It's A Knockout" sort of thing - take a bunch of teams and give them a chance to fly their own quirky homemade flying machines off a large ramp over the Serpentine in Hyde Park. The result? Absolute hillarity and a lot of wet competitors.

I saw some of the highlights of the first event on TV a few years ago ( I seem to remember at least one team going over the edge with a piano!) and didn't stop laughing the whole way though, so applying for tickets for this (the second event in the UK) on 7th June was a no-brainer.

Beth and I have just received our (free!!) tickets:

The 2nd Red Bull Flugtag - Saturday 7th June in Hyde Park

I've been browsing their site to see what's one there - and some of the teams look very, very silly, for example:

  • "Extreme Trifle" - a flying trifle, constructed from "wood, polystyrene with a hint of jelly, a dollop of custard and a sprinkling of hundreds and thousands."

  • "ICBM" (Intercontinental Ballistic Morons) - a red double-decker London Bus with wings and "Air Bus" written on the side.

  • "Tarbis" - A Doctor Who tribute outfit, complete with Tardis, Davros and a Cyberman.

  • "Bad Habits" - 4 nuns breakdancing to Run DMC's "It's like that", while preparing to launch the Mother Nun.

  • "The Vulture Squadron" - Dick Dastardly and his long suffering sidekick Muttley are back!

  • "The Mary Poppins Fan Club" - this one involves a nanny and lots of umbrellas...

  • "Team Flying Anvil" - I suspect this one comes with a Wylie Coyote.

  • "Pharoah's Phantasy" - A papier mache and chicken wire flying Sphinx.

  • "The A-Team 2008" - A black van and lots of machine guns. But will it fly...?
It should be a fun day. I'll be grinning madly somewhere in the north arena if you happen to be there.
Feeling crap for christmashttp://www.annasplace.me.uk/journal.php?archive=2007_12_01_archive.xml#7657850664259926154#7657850664259926154
I've got a cold. Not the usual runny nose irritating kind, but the full fledged "I've barely got out of bed in 3 days and feel like I'm dying" kind. I'm not sure which hurts more - my head or my throat.

Oh well - there go the travel plans for Christmas.
The Wacky Things Friends Get Up Tohttp://www.annasplace.me.uk/journal.php?archive=2007_12_01_archive.xml#8700603547121765353#8700603547121765353
Beth and I travelled up to Maidenhead on Saturday to join a celebration of my friend Rupert "Don't Point That Moot At Me" Mortiary's 40th birthday at the Stag and Hounds in Pinkneys Green.

The Stag and Hounds is a very familar pub to me, as I used to live in that area and we staggered from it regularly. Although it has changed a bit since then (the bar billiards table is long gone, sadly) it's still recognisably the same place, and the beer is still every bit as good.

Rupert being Rupert decided it would be a fancy dress affair, with the theme "movie stars", so you can probably guess at some of the resulting costumes. I have to admit that Beth and I had a complete imagination failure and just got dressed up for the occasion...when asked I just said I claimed amnesia and said "guess!", athough with hindsight I should have worn my gothic dress and claimed to be Elvira "after she finally found a decent hairdresser".

When we first arrived at the pub and walked into the saloon bar we were greeted by Rups in a full Musketeer regalia. He'd come as Oliver Reed ("if drinking has a name, it's Oliver Reed" as the T-shirt says) which I have to say was totally appropriate given the occasion....and, well it was just the sort of thing Rups does. Shame we forgot to bring the camera, really.

Of course, with most of the group being re-enactors there was bound to be a wacky scheme afoot, and it turned out that Rups' costume was no accident:

The Ollie Reed Appreciation Society


And they say re-enactors are mad. Thinking again, they are quite possibly right...but I'd still rather be associated with them than with the 'danes.

The evening was really fun...it was great to see everybody again and I'm sure it won't be too long before we do it all again.
Acceptance, Rejection and the Familyhttp://www.annasplace.me.uk/journal.php?archive=2007_12_01_archive.xml#4146759196965360828#4146759196965360828
At this time of year our thoughts quite naturally turn to our families.

One of the downsides of being a transperson is that as soon as you seek help (whether medical in nature or just by talking to those you trust) you run the risk of losing absolutely everything.

Even today, in such situations far too many families find themselves unable to cope and - rather than trying to learn about what is happening and why - turn their backs on their own. Even worse, transpeople who are also parents are very likely to find themselves separated from their children - regardless of their children's wishes.

Unfortunately I am one of those people - I've not heard a thing from my family in over five years now, and I don't know where my children are, let alone have any contact with them. The only way I can send cards or presents to them is via my parents, who never acknowledge anything I send.

I am however fortunate in that that reaction has not extended to those outside my immediate family. Quite the opposite - although I am in touch with people going all the way back to my childhood, I've found nothing but acceptance and respect.

The same is true in my professional life. Ex-colleagues from Racal and Sonardyne has been unanimous in their support, and those I've met since (e.g. through the ACCU and the CodeProject community) have shown similar support.

Why then, do families all too often react so badly?

My theory (and it is only that, so don't take it as gospel) is that families are all too often loose knit collections of individuals bound together within an all too fragile web of family expectations and awkward silences. Some things are always left unsaid, and there are always things which "the family" would rather avoid discussing.

Amongst those taboo subjects are - all too often - gender and sexuality. Many transpeople I've heard from relate accounts of being told "But I could have coped with it if you were just gay!" when they came out to their family. In truth, those families are deluding themselves - they probably couldn't cope with that, either.

I can't help thinking that such reactions are a sign of old attitudes, and that society at large evolves far faster than the typical family unit (which makes sense when you think that changes in society come upwards from younger age groups, whereas in a family the older members tend to have much more influence). Why else would I find acceptance everywhere else but in my family?

Look at it another way. Had I been old enough to marry in the 1970s I could probably have provoked a very similar reaction from my immediate family by marrying someone of a different race.

It makes you think, doesn't it?
 A few tears, but life goes onhttp://www.annasplace.me.uk/journal.php?archive=2007_12_01_archive.xml#7157696459827860789#7157696459827860789
Yesterday, held a lot of tears, but thankfully they have just about passed now.

I have to admit I have been having a hard time coping with being separated from my kids this weekend - especially with Christmas approaching, and their presents starting to collect on the table. I won't be able to see them open them, nor even likely know whether they will like them - the last I will see will be the parcel going over the counter at the Post Office.

Life deals a tough hand to each of us in our own way. Nevertheless, I cannot help but give thanks for the many amazing people who have supported me unconditionally throughout.

You know who you are.